Avoiding the Christmas Crush

     November stands at the beginning of a very busy time of year. Now that the Election is over, people are thinking about Thanksgiving and the Christmas Season. Late Autumn and the first two weeks of winter are filled with many activities and special time with family. This season, which is usually just after the first freeze of the year is the time to pull out your calendar in order to make plans for everything that needs to be done.

     In only a few weeks we will celebrate Thanksgiving, with its accompanying family meal, football games, parades and black friday sales. All these take preparation. There are people to invite to our home (or travel plans if we are going somewhere else) for a feast of turkey and all the fixings. Shopping lists need to be created for the festive dinner, football snacks and black Friday sales.
     Thanksgiving, with its black Friday events leads us into the busy month of December. This is a month of parties, church activities, community events, year end closeouts, and preparation for Christmas. Preparation of the calendar alone, with it’s multiple conflicts can be a nightmare. It is best to do this month ahead (in November), in order to avoid as many problems as possible. For those traveling, this is especially important to catch the sales and deadlines before price increases.
     Strategic planning at the beginning of November can help a lot during the busy month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. A bit of pre-holiday organization of time can prevent conflicts and their associated headaches. A thoroughly drafted agenda will make sure nothing slips through the cracks during the busy weeks between the turkey dinner and the Christmas gift unwrapping event.
     If the schedule is unplanned, some necessary details of the holidays will be omitted. What can this be? The central item of the season which has not yet been suggested: the taking in and the sharing with others the all important matters of faith that are central to Thanksgiving and Christmas.
     Consider, how will you weave the central objective of gratitude into your Thanksgiving? How will you ingrain faith sharing into the advent season. In what way will you celebrate the birth of Jesus on Christmas morning? Don’t let the mundane and less important “necessities” crowd out the real reason for the season.
     I discovered many years ago the necessity of taking part of a day to weave a faith agenda into my December calendar. Without planning, the legacy of my family’s Christmas memories would only be the gifts they received. But I did not allow that to happen … and I hope you will not permit a secular Christmas to occur in your home either.

     Do you need help with your holiday plans? Take a look at my web-page www.KosherCopy.com. On top of the page you will see a tab that says Advent. There are two items on the drop down menu: Advent Calendar and Advent Activities. Click on Advent Activities to discover multiple ideas (which will work for families with children of any age). The PDF document (free) will help you create a Christmas that brings home the real reason for the season and celebrates the coming of the Savior, Jesus.

     Please also take note of the book Advent Journeys, which appears just to the left of this blog. The contents of this book will transport you to first century Bethlehem as it recreates the events of the first Christmas. This is not a book filled with homespun homilies, but short daily readings to help you join Mary and Joseph for the first Christmas, the best Christmas ever, because it is the foundation stone and beginning of all Christmases that have or ever will occur.

The Four Sons for Daughters

February is a month of birthdays for our family, both of my daughters were born in the month of February. We celebrate their birthdays no matter where they are in the world. Families are support systems and birthdays are supposed to be fun. Because Purim is next week, I must add that I am sure Mordecai would never forget Esther’s birthday, and probably made sure she had fun.

Spiritual Life and a Relationship with God

In my blog I often write about Passover during this time of year. That is partially to promote the fact that I lead Passover Seders, and partly to promote two books I have written with my daughters. (They are available in print and on kindle). The Passover was instituted in order to help our children learn about God’s care for His people. Various instruments are used during the Pesach celebration to share God’s desires.

Passover Seder participant Haggadah

The Passover Haggadah tells about four sons through four questions and answers given to children in the Torah. The Rabbis use the questions to teach about four types of people in the world: The wise, the wicked, the simple and the young.

Four Sons and Four types of people

The fourth son of the Seder is the young child. From Exodus 13:8, we discern that this son is very young, too young to ask a question, because. Moses instructed the fathers to answer their child without a question ever being asked. The Bible tells us, “You shall tell your son on that day, ‘It is because of what the Lord did for me when I came out of Egypt.’”

The message of Exodus 13:8 is very important for parents of today. Our children are always learning, and we should always be teaching. When my children were very young, even a few days old, I enjoyed holding them and teaching them. My teaching at that age was mostly in songs I sang to my daughters. They did not ask questions, they did not speak back. They only girlgled, smiled or, sometimes, cried.

Dad and Daughter

But as I sang and as I spoke, my children learned. Their minds were opened, and they understood the language of love, and they were learning the words I shared with them. On the day of a child’s birth we begin to teach them about life, and hopefully about God. I shared with my daughters “because of what the Lord did for me when I came out of Egypt.”

Story time and then nap time

As my children grew older, they learned to ask simple questions. About two or three years old they constantly asked, “Why?” THe question is only one word long, but it can be applied in so many ways. The natural inclination is to push a child aside, because, as a parent, you get tired of hearing the constant, “Why?” and then when you answer the question, another “Why?” And another and another.

For the child who asks lots of “Why?” or other simple questions, Moses wrote, “when in time to come your son asks you, ‘What does this mean?’ (or ‘Why?’) you shall say to him, ‘By a strong hand the Lord brought us out of Egypt, from the house of slavery.” (Exodus 13:14)

Chelsea and her Grandmother

The Bible tells me never to tire of my children’s questions, for they are a source of learning. In my educational courses, I learned to use teachable moments with my classes. Whenever a child asks a question, they are sharing a teachable moment. The child’s intention is to be discerned so their question can be answered. (Sometimes the question is so simple it is ambiguous. It is up to the parent to know their child and the situation well enough to give an applicable answer). As questions are appropriately answered and as teachable moments are used to instruct children, they learn and grow, and come to know God’s love more clearly.

A Grandmother's Bedtime Routine

The second son in the Passover Seder asks the question, “What do YOU mean by this service?” (Exodus 12:26) The child who asks this question is called ‘the wicked son,’ because he wishes he could be excluded from the Passover and from his family's teachings. This indeed is a sad situation, for it means the teachings did not take. Fortunately, I did not have to deal with this type of child. Because I started to teach my children when they were young, and because I was patent when they got older, and because I sought to bring ‘the joy of the Lord’ into our faith, my children grew up to adopt our religion, rather than to reject it.

If I were asked, “Do your children believe and practice exactly as you do?” I would have to answer no, because each person’s faith walk will be a bit different. But certainly we worship the same God, and hold to the same faith, and there is a bond. My daughters have now passed the three decade mark, and therefore we can have discussions about religion. I can learn from them, as they have learned from me.

My daughters are now like the wise son, who asks, “What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you?” (Deut 6:20) They have gone to school, become learned, and now they teach others, and sometimes they teach me.

I recently read on a Chabad website: “Since all of Torah addresses all of Israel, we must say that all four messages of the Torah are applicable to all of us, since we all possess the “four children” within ourselves. We are therefore all required—even one who does not have children—to recite all four answers, since we are in essence speaking to the wise, wicked, simple, and “unable to ask” elements that exist within every one of us.”

Teaching of God

In my last blog I shared my passion for teaching children about God. This passion in my life was not a passing phase or a job-related necessity. I truly believe we must put time, effort, energy, creativity, substance and finances into preparing our children to receive the torch of life from us and sprint into the future.

One way I followed my heart was to teach children the true meaning of Christmas. (it is not too early to prepare or to tell. The Christmas season will consume us with activity and meaningless tradition unless we prepare ahead!)  While in ministry I would begin planning for the Christmas season as soon as fall activities were functioning, generally toward the end of September.

The activities I planned for the Christmas season were personal for my family, and were shared with others. The plans made revolved around the idea that time given to my children is the best gift of the season, and that the time is only worthwhile if it furthers their faith in God. The object of the plan was to provide, lead, and/or join my children in at least one activity each day to enhance the Biblical story.

Our activities included eating birthday cake (for Jesus’ birthday), going on trips, making and sending Christmas cards (they announce our faith in Jesus, just as the angels announced His coming), eating at Burger King (and wearing crowns like the magi), visiting sheep farms and serving our neighbors and other community members in service. Each day of Christmas was carefully planned around a theme and given a scripture to set context. Many of these ideas can be found under the Advent Tab on www.KosherCopy.com. My best ideas for daily activities are on my website.

I also published a devotional entitled “Advent Journeys”, a book containing six weeks of devotionals. The devotionals are written like short diary entries and spoken by the people of our Biblical story. The diaries help the people of the Bible stories, who can at times seem two-dimensional, become three-dimensional as the reader gets a look into what their daily lives were like. Each diary entry links to the ideas found under the Advent tab on www.KosherCopy.com.

Readers of Advent Journeys remark that the diaries make the Bible come alive. The favorite chapter seems to be the first week’s journal about Zechariah (John the Baptist’s father) at the Temple; the chapter has even been awarded. When a reader embarks on, and finishes the week’s journey with Zechariah, he will experience with Zechariah what it is like to serve in the Temple and tend the altar of incense in the Holy Place. The reader will see the pure joy Zechariah and Elizabeth experience when they find out about their baby.

On the second week, the reader will meet Joseph and Mary and walk alongside them on their journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem. During the third week the reader will join the shepherds in the fields tending sheep. He will find himself there the moment the Angel announces Christ’s birth. In the fourth week the reader will experience the anticipation and adventure of the Magi as they travel across the desert and through the throne room of King Herod in search of the newborn king.. The book, Advent Journeys, also contains a week of devotions for Chanukah. The book is meant to be read by either individuals, groups, or families: your family will enjoy reading the book together each day.

Last year I did a giveaway for a short time on Kindle. This year I am asking people who read the book to share the experience by giving Advent Journeys as an Advent gift (before Thanksgiving) or a Christmas gift. My goal is for children and their families, at least for a moment, to leave the schedule and demands of the Christmas season and escape into the world of the Bible in order to seize the wonder of the first Christmas.

Israel Adventure - Day 1

The day has finally arrived. Chelsea and I are on our way to Israel. After an early morning trip to the airport and farewell to Denise, we were off to our adventure. First stop New York City. Travel time 1 hour 14 minutes (so they said, then they said we were arriving 25 minutes early!!) We took the train to Manhattan.

Breakfast was at Russ & Daughters on the Lower East Side. We met my cousin Jamie and nephew Benjamin for a plate of Lox (Nova, Scottish, Pastrami and Grave), Liverwurst, and the trimmings. I had Cucumber Soda, Chelsea had Pineapple, Jamie and Benjamin had Cherry. The food was FANTASTIC!!

From there we went to the Lower East Side, Chinatown (for bubble tea and a red bean roll), and Little Italy. With a connection to be made we headed to Jamie’s house via Madison Square Park and Chelsea. On the way we gave our regards to Broadway at 5th Avenue.

We made our way to JFK via the Long Island Railroad (first time I have taken them, the trip was very quick). On the airtrain we met a man leading a dig at Hebron (must be that season). As I write today’s post we are awaiting our flight to France, then to Israel.

Interfaith on the Holidays

Chanukah or Christmas, Chanumas or Christikah … that is the question.  In the olden days our faith was often more consistent and predictable, but in today’s world many families are interfaith.  How does a family celebrate the holidays when one parent is a Christian and the other is Jewish?  Families could choose to avoid, but with all the seasonal displays for a family not to celebrate something is like the ostrich which places its head in the ground.

As people we are created with  a desire to believe … something.  History teaches this: every culture which has ever existed has a faith component.  Absence of faith causes people to desire; weak faith causes people to look for something stronger.  In a world with radicalized faith options, it is important for parents to teach good faith in a strong way.  So, where should a family begin?

The discussion about the holiday season should start with one statement: Jesus was Jewish.  Jesus would have celebrated Chanukah.  This statement tells us not to battle and invites us to do something a little different.  Christianity grew out of Judaism, and to bring these two traditions together accentuating the great stories of each with their identical moral base can create an environment of peace rather than battles.

How does a family bring both holidays together?  The beginning point is to talk about what is important.  Both faith traditions should enjoy a presence in the month of december, and because there are differences each celebration can own a place of its own.  Unique elements of each season: the stories of Christmas and Chanukah should be told and retold all month.  The trim of the holidays such as the tree, the dreidels, latkes, candles and lights should co-exist and be enjoyed by all.

To make plans for seasonal harmony take a look at the calendar.  Chanukah occurs at a different time every year.  The lighting of the menorah should occupy its rightful place, and can lead to a discussion on how we got our calendar … and the differences between a lunar cycle and a solar calendar.

Christmas occupies December 24-25 each year.  Worship experiences on these days, as well as other special events should be honored in families.  Young children will enjoy the festivities.  As children grow they will ask questions.  Answering questions will bring growth for parents and learning to children.  Teenagers will begin to challenge each faith, and through the challenge the parent obtains the ability to show how the love and hope of each faith should bring people together rather than split them apart.

How can this work, and how can a parent fill in some perceived gaps?  The new book Advent Journeys can serve as a guide.  This book not only shares the stories and traditions of both holidays; it also shares Jewish cultural backgrounds which are many times remain unseen as we read the New Testament.  As we see and understand the unique culture into which Jesus was born we can begin the discussion which will help us live together and celebrate both faith traditions.

The Christian faith and the Jewish faith should fit together.  Across the centuries these two religions have drifted apart, forged individual identifications and set up battle zones.  And in so doing each group has obliterated the fact that Christianity was born out of Judaism.  Judaism contains the foundation and some important keys to really understanding the world and teachings of Jesus.

Advent: A Family idea

Many years ago, when my children were very young, I read a book about Advent.  The author said during the Advent (Christmas) season people are more interested in spiritual things than any other time of the year.  The book gave many ideas for sharing Christmas with others.  In one chapter the book presented an idea that the best gift which could be given within families at Christmas was time.

The author said that Christmas is one of the busiest times of the year with activities, parties, shopping and travel.  Often we rob our children of the quality time they need and deserve in order to accomplish the tasks which seem so urgent.  The book suggested one way to reposition our family into their proper place of importance is to plan activites for the family and place them on the calendar as appointments.

I took the author’s suggestion, and created a calendar.  The first appointment I placed on the calendar was to eat either breakfast or dinner with my children every day. (Depending on school and church schedules this could vary … and was not easy to do.  But because I looked ahead and put this priority as an appointment, it did happen most days).  During our meal together we would read two short scriptures which were part of the Christmas story (I have a suggested calendar posted at http://www.koshercopy.com/ - look for the tab on the top bar which says “2015 Advent”).  I also placed on the calendar at least one activity per day which connected with the Christmas story.

Sometimes (when I was busy) the activity would be something our children could do with very little guidance (color wrapping paper; design and color cards for grandparents).  Other times the activities were more involved.  We went on field trips, acted out parts of the story, and every week we took one evening for a family night.

Family nights involved a dinner together.  Sometimes we tied these to the story, such as, during the week we highlighted the angel’s visit to the shepherds we built a fire in our fireplace and roasted hot dogs.  (I am sure the shepherds built a fire on cool nights - and because they had a fire, they must have roasted hot dogs and s’mores).  We also sang songs, told stories, and created skits in which we acted.  (My daughters like the skit where one of them was Joseph, the other was Mary, my wife was the Innkeeper, and I was the donkey.  Yes, Mary got to ride the donkey with Joseph leading).

All of these activities created memories.  And these memories proved to be much more powerful than the gifts we gave on Christmas day.  The end result: Christmas is about Jesus.

I have placed on our website the pamphlet with activities.  These activities are linked with our new book Advent Journeys.  The Journey diaries of Zechariah, Joseph, the Shepherd, the Magi and the Maccabee can be understood by most children in third grade and above.  The scripture (Calendar) along with the journal and activities shared with family members can lead to a most memorable Christmas.  Plan ahead and give it a try … starting the Sunday after Thanksgiving.

Advent & Christmas Celebrations

   Advent is a favorite time for our family.  Every year from the time my daughters were in Preschool the month of December became a very special time of year.  Christmas was planned into each day of the year, but not with gifts, but with a special activity.  We planned crafts, field trips, games, music, special foods, and more.  Every activity highlighted and added meaning to part of the story.  Taken together these activities brought our family closer to the true reason for Christmas.
   Our Advent idea began as a Sunday School class activity.  The project continued as an activity packet I shared with parents of preschoolers.  As my children grew, so did the idea with more and more complex activities.  When my daughters entered Middle School Advent packets took the shape of daily lunchtime stories and games which appeared in their lunch boxes.  The impact in their lives is worth sharing.
   I attempted to put the idea in a book, but it did not quite work that way.  But the idea is still good and can impact families with young children.  I am sharing the plan on our KosherCopy web page.  You can proceed from this page to look at our new book: Advent Journeys.  The best part is ... the plan is free, just take it and use it with your family (or share with friends).  If you put the plan into use, I can promise a fantastic Christmas.
   The Advent ideas and calendar on our KosherCopy website is linked to the book Advent Journeys, so they can be read and accomplished together.  The book Advent Journeys is readable to a 10 or 11 year old (on up).  Through daily reading adults and children will better understand events which took place over 2,000 years ago.
   Advent, it is a wonderful time of the year.  The Advent season starts the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  When the family participates in short daily readings and activities which go along with the scriptures, members of the family can not but help come away with a real connection to the true meaning of Christmas.
   And when you understand the true meaning of Christmas, it overpowers the trappings and gifts which have become part of a secular Christmas.  You do not have to do away with the gifts to have a true Christmas experience ... they are a fun part of the season ... All you have to do for a Great Christmas is to include Jesus in every part and every day.
   Take a look at our website this week.  And if you like the packet and calendar, please share with others.  And purchase our book this week, so you can read along to bring even greater enhancement to your Christmas.

Advent Traditions

   The Advent traditions of my family began almost thirty years ago in a young adult Sunday School class at University Baptist Church in Wichita, KS.  Our study for December included four lessons: Zechariah, Joseph, Shepherds and Magi.  In preparation for these lessons I picked up a book from our church library, the title of which I have long forgotten.  The book said the Christmas season is a great time to teach on spiritual things because people were more attune because it was the time of Jesus' birth.
   Members of the class I was teaching had young children, three of them born the same month as my oldest daughter, Chelsea.  The lessons I prepared that year included not only the scripture but also ideas for teaching our children the Bible stories on a preschool level.  I made a notebook for each member of the class (color coded by week).  The ideas presented in the notebook I continued to use and improve each year.
   As my daughters aged from preschool to young child to older elementary and then on into middle school I continued to develop the idea of Advent scripture and stories.  I added activities according to their age.  I picked up the idea of sharing finger plays from the Hutchinson, KS library.  Those were included in a new Advent schedule.
   I began to develop other activities in the schedule as my daughters reached five years of age and beyond.  These included a weekly family time with dinner, songs, a skit and the story.  One of the favorite stories was the trip of Joseph and Mary to find a room in Bethlehem.  One of the girls was Joseph, the other Mary.  I was the donkey (many people told me that was a good role for me) and Denise was the innkeeper.
   When the children entered elementary school in Apex, NC, I added more activities.  We prepared Christmas cards on the week the angels told the Shepherds of Jesus' birth.  We drew wrapping paper in the week we told of the gifts brought by the Magi.  We made care packages for our neighbors to minister to them.  We also saw a sheep farm (or sheep at the zoo), and Christmas programs.  Christmas grew to be a season we loved.
   When my daughters entered Middle School, I stopped reading the story as much, because I wanted them to be more self disciplined.  I put a story with their lunch each day, along with thought questions, activities we would do when they came home, and also with a game: word search, crossword, maze, or similar, which they could solve as they ate lunch.  We still have a notebook of these pages.
   The devotions came full circle as Sarah helped me write Advent Journeys, a Christmas devotional.  We had fun, and talked about some of the activities of the past.  I put out a pamphlet for others to enjoy for many years.  I will be putting the same ideas on our website in the very near future (this week I hope) so others can enjoy celebrating Advent with their families.
   To celebrate a fun Advent will bring families closer to the true meaning of the Christmas season.  I have found these activities to be the perfect antidote for consumerism so prevalent at this time of year.  Keep an eye out for the list ... and if you have other ideas, please share them.

A New Book: almost done!

A finished project is always a good feeling, and my latest book is almost done.  Today it has been uploaded for proofing … and if successful, I hope will be available the first week of November.

What is it you ask?  The title of the book is Advent Journeys.  The book is what the title indicates, it is an advent reader which will take you on journeys.  The book is a collection of journals from Zachariah (father of John the Baptist), Joseph (husband of Mary and father of Jesus), a shepherd, a magi, and a Maccabee.  The reader will travel with these individuals as they intersect with the Christmas story.

Each journal is short (for easy reading, 400 words) and seven days long, which gives each week a theme. Week 1 we will visit the Temple as Zechariah serves and is told by the Angel his wife will have a son.  At the start of week two Joseph receives a tax notice, and we will walk with Joseph and Mary from Nazareth to Bethlehem.  Week three will be spent watching sheep outside Bethlehem.  During week four we will cover a huge distance from Mount Alvand, Iran to Bethlehem.   With added scripture and thought provoking questions I hope the reading will add a fuller dimension and more joy to the Christmas.  During the fifth week we will travel with Joseph and Mary to Egypt.  The readings during the fifth week will help the reader look forward to the new year.  A sixth week of eight days is added to the book for interfaith families, or for those who desire to know more about how Chanukah was viewed in the time of Jesus.

Why did I write a book?  For several reasons: First: Advent has a lot of meaning for our family.  We read scripture and books, planned activities, ate special foods, and went on trips to enhance the meaning of Christmas.  Second: After going to Israel I wondered what the road from Nazareth to Bethlehem was like, so I followed Israel Route 60 on Google Earth, and then visited the places on facebook and other sites, and discovered a road rich in Bible history.  I was hooked, and followed others in the Christmas story.  Third: as I shared what I had written with Scribblers (a Mooresville writing group), they liked it so much, I put it in a book.

The book will be out in early November (I hope), and I hope you will order a copy and join the people in the Christmas story as they journey on that first Christmas.

Exodus: Ben Finkelstein

His hometown might have been Stanislwow, but his heart was on bigger things. Although Stanislwow was called home by a large Jewish population, Ben Finkelstein saw no future there. He wanted larger things. He learned the garment industry from his father, Joseph, and his mother, Rifka, for clothing manufacture was the prevailing industry of this community.

In the past Stanislwow had a thriving economy. It had been on one of the main trade routes running from the Ukraine into Austria and Europe. However, changing politics of this region pushed the flow of commerce elsewhere, and in Ben Finkelstein’s time, other than clothing manufacture, and a pitiful agricultural yield the economy of Stanislwow, and the region called Galicia was poor at best.

Galicia, perhaps because of its beauty, drew people. There were more people per acre here than in most places in the world. The region boasted a great Jewish population, and was the home of Hasidism. However, for Ben Finkelstein, the glitz and the glamour lay elsewhere; further east, in the region currently controlling Galicia: Austria.

As a young man Ben felt the call of the city, and he left his family to create his life and to make his fortune in Vienna, the capital of Austria. He left behind the world he grew up in, his family, and the family trade in the garment industry to create something new for himself. He found work driving a taxi. He found life in the theater and the thriving culture of urban Vienna.

My mother tells how he made friends with the Emperor’s son, Franz Ferdinand, who took the taxi whenever he went on a tryst to see his mistress lover in a distant quarter of Vienna from the palace. The friendship was not immediate, but Archduke Franz Ferdinand found my grandfather was a calm spirit who could be trusted. My grandfather became the Archduke’s regular transportation for his secret affair.

Ben loved the culture of Vienna. He found many new friends. He enjoyed the theater, dancing, and concerts. But as in his homeland of Galicia, the politics of Europe were changing. In 1914, crown prince Franz Joseph was assassinated by a Bosnian dissident. This event would throw Europe into a world war. Ben Finkelstein knew this killing would also bring a wave of antisemitism across the region.

Ben could have escaped the turmoil of the Hapsburg Empire by going home … but the Ukrainians were also gearing up for war, and would have quickly inducted a young man in his 20’s into the army. Ben Finkelstein said, “I don’t hate anyone;” and headed for Bremen, Germany. He boarded a ship, the Breslau, and headed for the United States of America.

Ben Finkelstein had an acquaintance who my Grandfather said would receive him when he entered the country. Be followed in this man’s footsteps, entering the United States at the port of Baltimore, and quickly moving to Columbus, Ohio. Once in Ohio, he found work in his family trade, as a presser in the garment industry. He of course found the Yiddish Theater, and a young lady who captured his eye. His Exodus from poverty and antisemitism was complete.